Friday, September 17, 2010

SMOKING FETISH

Smoking fetishism also known as capnolagnia is a sexual fetish based on the sight or image of a person smoking. The fetish is a classically conditioned behavior.This behavior has many condition. This could include seeing the smoker as a stereotypically sweet, innocent individual behaving in ways that are considered taboo. For others it stems from an attraction to more worldly person, whose smoking epitomized their strength and self-confidence.
 What else can I say I'm a strong Woman that knows what she likes and gets what she wants. I don't smoke cigarettes I smoke Djarum cherry cigars. I like my smokes like I like my sex...nice and hard! 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Sin City Rockabilly Dolls


When I left California to Las Vegas I promise myself that I would make the most of this adventure. No more abuse. No more boy-friend. This was my chance to do something for myself for once. I was tired of being walked all over. I knew in my heart I was something special. At first I was afraid to leave my ex-boyfriend. My body was the only thing I knew. I'm sure most girls can agree with me when I say that its hard to leave the one we lost our virginity to. Sometimes you have to let go and take a leap of faith. When I did I was 20 yrs old and had only but a bag of clothes when I arrived in Las Vegas Nevada.

Good thing Elvis was there for me to cry on his shoulders. Just like any other town I made friends real quick. My very first girl friend was Bella Page. One of the toughest chick you could meet. she is a genuine girl with a genuine heart. A real friend will tell you the truth and not sugar coat shit! Bella tells it like it is! no bullshit, she will dish you the raw truth. Thank you Bella for keeping it real. There are too many "yes" men out there I sure did not need another one. Bella started a burlesque group called "The Sin City Rockabilly dolls" later known as just the Sin City Dolls. Yours truly was a member of the group. Also known as Jessica Purr on stage.

The thing I love about the Dolls is that we were the all natural American girls. No fake ass tits, no bullshit personality. But real women who love to have real fun! We look out for our sister. Even if it means we might get our lipstick smeared along the way.
Our fun Adventure seem endless. We sure know how to tease the crowd wild and get them begging and screaming for more! I will never forget the fun filled times with the Dolls. I love you girls. Be safe in the City of Sin. Remember what I always say "safe sex is sexy sex"

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My first Porno "Julia Juggs in heat"


Dear Diary,
I finally got the courage to do my first guy/ girl porn. I can remember having all sorts of fantasy about Pamela Anderson as a kid. I knew in my heart of all hearts I wanted to be just like her one day. Thank you Ms. Jaylene Rio for believing in me and the advise you gave me that day at the AdultCon. You truly are beautiful inside and out.
I met Jaylene at the Adultcon in Las Vegas NV she had the booth right across from me. She was a true beauty. I introduce myself to her and she was telling me that I should be a model for THE SCORE GROUP. Jaylene show me her beautiful magazine she was in and told me that SCORE loves women like us. That day we exchange phone numbers and email addresses. I thought it was very ironic that Jaylene was from West Covina CA. I was actually born and raise there in West Covina, CA. There must be some thing in the water at the beach because for some reason California girls got sexy on lock down for sure!

A lot of people told me that doing a porn with a black male was not such a good idea. And frankly I don't give a rats ass what those narrow minded people think. Seriously people its fucking 2010 and our president is  black and I can't discriminate, I have family that are half black and I was not brought up to be a racist. So get over it boneheads! I love all types of men. I can't help it every now and then a girl need some strange cock. White, black. I got to have it all. I'm a cock spoiled brat ! I'm not afraid to admit it. A lot of people out there can not embrace who they are. I think people should do what makes them happy. You only have one life, you should make the most of it. When I was younger I was raised with the idea that you have to be very thin to be beautiful. I am glad that I get to be part of a group that sees beauty in full figure girls like me. Diets are not for me but I do believe that a woman should be healthy and not starve themselves to death just to please the public. I am the kind of girl who can find happiness in herself.
 the set of my first porn
 
Crystal Renn was a high fashion model at a very young age. Many people told her she had to lose more that half her body weight, and when she did her health took a toll on her. So after gaining some wight back Crystal began to market herself as a plus size model. In my opinion I think Crystal looks perfect the way she is. 

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Prayer vs. Porn

(me at the age of 3yrs old)
I think my dad will always remember me as his little girl. Lets face it, When you have children no one wants to ever think there child would become an adult entertainer. Every parent has high hopes for there kids and being a porn-star is defiantly not one of them. Personally I would not want any of my kids to be involved what so ever in the Adult Industry. Many girls think they have what it takes to be a porn-star, But  its not always fun and games. It can make you or break you. A pretty face will get you some what ahead but you need to have the brains and an open-mind to learn more about the industry. My dad use to tell me to be aware of your surrounding. Boy was he right! The Adult Industry will grab any pretty face and slap it on the headlines leaving nothing for these poor girls but a "Name". Some girls in the business will come back with a bang and make something for themselves. Others will let there grief multiply and pretend to feel no pain. The next thing you know their suicide becomes front page on the newspapers. It's very sad how the media will exploit someone to death!

Which reminds me of a song that Courtney Love once sang. The song is called "Sunset Strip" and I believe she wrote something like this
"Sitting on the Hollywood sign
Watching the girls get off the bus
Watching the danger in their eyes
When they leave with broken hearts
They use as valentines

I came here from a dirty dark street
There was no one there to protect me
To make the nightmares go away
It has to sparkle
It has to shine
So hard

Look at me for the very last time
I've climbed so high
I've got no place left to climb
And I know, no tomorrow

Rock star, pop star, everybody dies
All tomorrow's parties
They have happened tonight
And I know that I won't see tomorrow"

Kudos Courtney I couldn't of said it better. I know I have days where I would love to sleep my life away. But on those days I just remember to pray. One of my favorite prayers is the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. It helps me to remember to have faith and no matter what environment I am in.
(me having a moment) 
I know it may sound very taboo when I talk about prayer and porn at the same time but I can't help it. I was raised in a Christian and Catholic family. My dad always encourage me to pray and believe in God. In the beginning years of my high school years I was really into the Christian faith. I was a member of CIA in my freshman year. CIA means (Christians in Action). At that point in my life I thought that I would have the will power to save my virginity until I was married. But we all know how that story ends. But serious shit I thought that was what I was going to do, I even had the nerve to go to church and dedicate myself to the Lord. Boy do me and God have a lot of talking to do. I hope I don't sound like a know it all because that is not what I am try to prove. I guess what I am trying to admit is that I'm no virgin Mary but I still believe in god and try to pray when I can and I all I know is that this sinner loves god. All I can do is be true to myself. 


It's one thing to lie to other people. But if you lie to yourself the only person you are hurting is you. So I guess what I am trying to say is that I admit it. I love to do porn. I love having sex and I love to dress up and feel sexy. I love it when I meet my fans face to face at the adult conventions. It feels like a dream come true when I run into somebody that knows me from my adult movies and I get even more excited when I hear them tell me that they are really big fans. In high school I was in a talent show with some really good friend of mines. We perform a burlesque routine to the musical Chicago, the song was called Roxie Heart. Everybody in the audience cheered me on. When the talent show was over the judges disqualified us for being out of dress code and the audience was so upset they boo the judges right off stage. That is where it all started for me. I knew then that I love to perform in front of a live audience. Besides I don't think porn is a bad thing. Sex is natural. We all love to do it. For me porn is like playtime for adults not meant for children. When I was a little girl I use to dress up in my mothers clothes and try on her make-up and sing in front of the mirror. Now I am able to have fun with all my digital boyfriends and dress up and act sexy for them. Doing web-cam shows really spices up my sex life. 




Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Growing up as Julia

Dear Diary 
Wednesday, April 28,2010 I will never forget the day I finally got the courage to submit my model shots to the Score Group. I realize now, this is what I want to do. When I was in the 6th grade I can remember the time I almost got caught fixing the tissue paper in my bra by the boy who sat next to me in math class. I was not always the busty babe at school. But I do recall praying a lot in church and at home before I went to bed that God will give me some real big boobs just like Pamela Anderson on Baywatch. And what do you know Summer time came, and I was going to be in the 7th grade soon. My Dad allow me to spend that summer vacation with my Mom in Aurora, Colorado. When I arrived home one of my Male cousins had mention out loud how big my boobs were and my grandmother took the responsibility to buy me a new bra. I did not even realize that my breast have grown from a size 34A to a 38C in one summer. WOW I felt like a new girl. I really could not wait for school to start so I can show off my new clothes and backpack, not to mention my new big juicy C cups. lol.  


(that's me in the middle)

Registration Day was here and my first day of 7th grade was exactly how I imagine it. As I was standing in line at the library to receive my new text books for school  I over heard the boys in line whispering back and forth. I even think one of them was pointing at me. Later on that day a really good girlfriend of mines had mention to me that all the boys in P.E. were talking a storm up about how Big my Boobs had gotten and that they were going to do a test to see if they were real or stuffed with tissue paper. "I'm so glad this test was not done the year before." But what really made my day was that one of the guys that happen to be in that same group was my first crush. Boy did I try my hardest to impress him. All I had to do now was just leave it to his best buddies to get his undivided attention. Before I knew it every guy in middle school was giving me titties twister to see if "my Olsen Twins" were real. 

 

Everyone except my crush, lets call him "RS" in this case. RS was a very good boy. He was in Honor roll for having straight A's in class. Now at a very young age I knew I had a thing for Nerds or boys with a little brain power. RS was even good in sports. So he was like a dream to me. I love when a boy can be versatile geek/jock, can anyone say "Hubba hubba". In the year that I knew RS he never disrespected me. No titty twist. No making out. No dirty jokes. No nothing, just a real good friend. I even try to ask him to be my boyfriend and he turn me down because he wanted to focus in school. I respected that and left him alone. 


 
 
Through out my school years I started to become more comfortable with my body by the time I was 18 I was willing and waiting for RS to pop my cherry. I know I know, it sounds really dumb for me to wait on one guy. But we all have a fantasy on how we would lose our virginity and with whom it will be with. But for me at that point my fantasy did not become reality. I found out through a mutual friend that RS had a girl friend. Later on I found out from RS that he had gave it up to his girlfriend. Ouch! whats a girl to do now. My senior year of high school was so mixed up. I was ditching school, getting stoned with my big sister, sneaking out of the house, getting into fights. The list just goes on. before I knew it I made a deal with my neighbor, I'll call her "C", That I would be able to pop my cherry before her. C said "Your on" and guess who won? Me. You owe me $14 C!